Catholic Teens 9-12-06
Hey All--
Do Catholics regularly read the Bible? We’re supposed too! J
St. Jerome, who first translated the Bible in the 300’s, called “Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ.” Strong words, but true. Similarly, the Church encourages all people to prayerfully read the riches contained in the Word of God.
Below are some jokes from the Bible…in order to “get” them you need some knowledge of it. How many did you “get:”? Start reading J
Smiles from the Bible Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? A. Ruthless. Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ? A. German Shepherds. Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation. Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet. Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord. Q.. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A. Samson. He brought the house down. Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ? A. Your mother ate us out of house and home. Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once. Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? A. The area around Jordan The banks were always overflowing. Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible? A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents? A. Joshua, son of Nun. Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark ? A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groan...) PS... Did you know it's wrong for a woman to make coffee? Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . . . "He-brews" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question O' The Week:
“How long did Jesus suffer before he actually died?”
-His ‘Passion” began following the Last Supper on Holy Thursday. After the meal He went to the Garden of Gethsemane, where the Bible says he literally “sweated blood” because of the stress He was under. After that He was arrested and, over the next roughly 16 hours, He was tried in court, scourged, beaten, spit on and carried the Cross. Traditionally we hold that He was on the Cross from Noon to 3PM when He died.
So one can estimate 19 or so hours of physical torment. Who knows how much mental torment He suffered. He knew what was going to happen, well before it actually happened.
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Intentions:
-For peace in the world and an end to terrorism.
-For all the victims of 9/11 and healing where hurt remains.
-For all students as they return to school.
-For all the other intentions you hold in your hearts, we pray to the Lord.
Lord, hear our prayer.
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Announcements:
The Youth Group, Generation JPII will be picking up full-steam ahead in September.
The first meeting is Sunday night, September 17th! @ 6PM. Mark your calendars!
Look for meetings to be held 2 Sundays a month! Watch for more info!
We’ll be back next year!
God bless you!
Phil Lawson
For more information on St. Peters check out the parish website: www.saintpetercatholic.com
Catholic Teens is a weekly email from Phil Lawson to Catholic Teenagers. To receive these weekly reflections, send an email to lawsphil@gmail.com. On the other hand, if you’d like to be removed from this list, please send an email indicating that.
Do Catholics regularly read the Bible? We’re supposed too! J
St. Jerome, who first translated the Bible in the 300’s, called “Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ.” Strong words, but true. Similarly, the Church encourages all people to prayerfully read the riches contained in the Word of God.
Below are some jokes from the Bible…in order to “get” them you need some knowledge of it. How many did you “get:”? Start reading J
Smiles from the Bible Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? A. Ruthless. Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ? A. German Shepherds. Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation. Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet. Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord. Q.. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A. Samson. He brought the house down. Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ? A. Your mother ate us out of house and home. Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once. Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? A. The area around Jordan The banks were always overflowing. Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible? A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents? A. Joshua, son of Nun. Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark ? A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groan...) PS... Did you know it's wrong for a woman to make coffee? Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . . . "He-brews" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question O' The Week:
“How long did Jesus suffer before he actually died?”
-His ‘Passion” began following the Last Supper on Holy Thursday. After the meal He went to the Garden of Gethsemane, where the Bible says he literally “sweated blood” because of the stress He was under. After that He was arrested and, over the next roughly 16 hours, He was tried in court, scourged, beaten, spit on and carried the Cross. Traditionally we hold that He was on the Cross from Noon to 3PM when He died.
So one can estimate 19 or so hours of physical torment. Who knows how much mental torment He suffered. He knew what was going to happen, well before it actually happened.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Intentions:
-For peace in the world and an end to terrorism.
-For all the victims of 9/11 and healing where hurt remains.
-For all students as they return to school.
-For all the other intentions you hold in your hearts, we pray to the Lord.
Lord, hear our prayer.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Announcements:
The Youth Group, Generation JPII will be picking up full-steam ahead in September.
The first meeting is Sunday night, September 17th! @ 6PM. Mark your calendars!
Look for meetings to be held 2 Sundays a month! Watch for more info!
We’ll be back next year!
God bless you!
Phil Lawson
For more information on St. Peters check out the parish website: www.saintpetercatholic.com
Catholic Teens is a weekly email from Phil Lawson to Catholic Teenagers. To receive these weekly reflections, send an email to lawsphil@gmail.com. On the other hand, if you’d like to be removed from this list, please send an email indicating that.
posted by Phil Lawson at 7:56 AM
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